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| So.. its almost 2 in the morning and I am dead tired but I can't fall asleep. I feel horrible. I'm upset and can't sleep and it sucks. Everything seems to be going fine right now... I'm busy with Company, going to London for Spring Break... but I feel unhappy and I have no clue why... Maybe because I know that I'm not really looked to in my department? I'm just kinda there.. Maybe it has to do with things I just wanna say but can't... Maybe I'm tired of being lonely.. Heck if I know... I am horribly tired and just want to sleep but can't... Eh.. Maybe writing this will make me fall asleep. If not, I'll stare at the ceiling until my eyes close..
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| Some people have many thoughts, some people don't have any. I'm one of those people who have many thoughts. Sometimes I feel like it is a good thing... sometimes I feel like it is a downfall... I don't mind having a lot of thoughts, but at times it makes me unhappy.
I sometime think bad thoughts, thoughts that I shouldn't think about... No, its not DIRTY thoughts, just thoughts that one person shouldn't have because it brings you down. I've been down lately, and its because I've let my imagination run wild with me... and its not good. I've found myself being up at 3 in the morning not being able to sleep because my mind doesn't want to shut down. Movies don't help when they usually do.. its not good and I don't enjoy it..
At times I have a lot of good thoughts, and when I have those I find myself asleep in no time. I wish I was having more of those types of thoughts lately, but I have no and it sucks...
I know no one really reads this, but its nice to get it off my chest once and a while.
On a happy note, I finally finished all 10 seasons of Friends... Yay! And The Sea is going wonderfully... I make an amazing Mourner... hahahaha.
I'm listening to this song.. and it makes me smile..
I follow the night
Can't stand the light
When will I begin
To live again
One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
What more could your love do for me
When will love be through with me
Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends
One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends
One day I'll fly away
Fly fly away
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|  | Currently Watching
Lady and the Tramp (50th Anniversary Edition)
By Peggy Lee, Barbara Luddy, Larry Roberts (II), Bill Thompson, Bill Baucom, Stan Freberg, Verna Felton, Alan Reed, George Givot, Dal McKennon, Lee Millar, Max Smith, Bill Lee (IV), Bob Stevens (III), Thurl Ravenscroft
see related |
So... my parents are fighting right now over the stupidest thing. The
house... They argued and said some stupid things (You don't deserve the
house, get out, etc etc) so my dad slept on the couch for a few nights
and rarely spoke to my mum. Well, I come home Friday and he sleeps in
their bed (I take the couch mwahaha) and then Saturday he leaves a note
saying he's gone for a ride, be back sunday or monday. This really
depresses me, thinking they are fighting over stupid stuff. I was
hoping to get the two together to talk but noo my dad goes off on a
ride x.o I want to play mediator... They said stupid things that they
don't mean. I hope they sit down monday and talk it out... I don't like
my parents fighting. It bugs me... lol. So if I say I'm fine, I'm
probably lying 
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| So I was going to go to bed... but that didn't happen. I'm sitting here in my living room alone and just kinda there. I dunno what to do but just sit here. I'm in a blah mood and have been near tears twice.. Yeah, sucks. I hate being female sometimes x.o Too emotional. Eh.. yeah. I'm gonna try to sleep. I bet I won't fall asleep for a long time @_@
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| Feeling unhelpful is one of the feelings I hate so much... I love helping people and when I feel like I haven't done my job... I feel small. I want to make people happy, see the bright side of life but sometimes it just doesn't happen that way. It makes me feel bad and I just want to hug the person until they feel better.. Unfortunatly, I can't do that all the time due to situations.. At the moment I'm feeling eh and I don't like it.. I wanna get out of this mood soon... Typing it out helps a bit...
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